by Judith C. Stutts, Ph.D; Adjunct Professor, Department of Clinical Sciences; College of Veterinary Medicine, North Carolina State University. www.petloss.org.

If you are grieving for an animal that is sick, one that is dying, or one that has died, you are not alone. Some people say that they grieve more over the loss of an animal than the loss of a human, and the loss of an animal is sometimes more difficult because there is a lack of understanding, sympathy, or empathy from family, friends, and co-workers.

Even though a great percentage of people think of animals as family members , it is often difficult to find the compassionate and loving support that is so readily available when a human dies. Many people grieve alone because they have no one to talk to. Some are afraid that others will ridicule them and think that they are stupid or crazy, even though it is normal to be sad and to show compassion and grief over the loss of an animal.

With little or no emotional support, the sadness may seem overwhelming. Some find it helpful to confide in their veterinarians, and others seek help from professional counselors to get the emotional help that they need. It is very important to be able to talk with someone who understands human-animal relationship issues and the significance of being able to say "good-bye" in a way that is meaningful to the person experiencing the loss.

Those of us who have had pleasure, security, companionship, comfort, and unconditional love from animals, know the special meaning of the human-animal bond. What many people do not know is the depth of emotional feelings that can naturally occur when that very special human-animal bond is broken.

Ways to help yourself:

• Give yourself permission to grieve.
• Grieve on your own personal schedule with the understanding that there is no time frame for grieving.
• Seek comfort from people who share a love of animals.
• Get a referral for a therapist, if you think that talking to a professional counselor might help you. Try to find one who understands the human-animal bond and the loss of that special bond. See Delta's list of counselors, helplines, and support groups.
• Consider another pet only when you feel ready.